Divide And Conquer

7 Aug

This will give you some sort of reference for how ridiculous our lives can be even when we try to plan things out perfectly.  (Bloggers note: This might be difficult to follow.) Textface plays softball and I’ll admit she’s gotten quite good over the past season.  There are only 5 teams in her league and they hold the first place all season. THE SPED wants to plan her friend birthday party on a weekend that most of her friends will be around.  We plan THE SPED’s birthday party 2 Saturdays AFTER the end of Softball season figuring there is absolutely NO WAY softball playoffs will go on that long.  How could it there are only 5 freaking teams?  I will tell you how it can go on for TEN days……the fathers in our lovely town that coach softball think that 7/8 grade softball with 5 teams needs to have a double elimination that’s how.  Don’t they know this isn’t the World  Series or the Stanley Cup playoffs? This is a small town with girls in it that want to play softball with some willing parents that will schlep them down to the field and cheer them on.  Is a double elimination necessary?

Frasier and I hold our breath.  Of course, we are cheering on Textface to win.  We WANT her to win.  Only on the night that she loses do we look at the playoff brackets and notice that if she wins every game from now till the end of the playoffs she will have her final play off game on the same freaking Saturday as THE SPED’s friend party.  Yes, you’ve guess it, same time too…..Softball game is at 11 am and THE SPED party is at 11:30. Three more games to go until we know what our fate will hold.

I attend all of the playoff games which is no small feat!  In order to be there I have to leave work a half hour early. Because of course most of the other mommies in my town are stay at home mom’s so committed to their daughter’s sport so it isn’t a problem that games start at 6.  For me however, I have to hope no one notices or cares that I’m leaving early AGAIN.  I go to every game, with a smile on, hoping that she wins. We’ll figure out Saturday if it comes to that.

It’s the last game, Thursday night, if they win tonight they play on Saturday.  They are losing and losing badly. Jackass is sitting on the bleachers and I am sitting in my chair behind home plate where I always sit.   Somehow, they end up tied in the 7th inning. I really don’t want to sit through another inning if they keep it tied. Textface’s team is up, they only have one out, two on base, it’s bottom of the 7th, Textface is up at bat.  I really want her to do well; I really don’t want her to get out otherwise the car ride home will be brutal. I am doing the mommy prayer that we all do in our heads, tapping my feet on the ground and I honestly believe I am more nervous that she is. I am bargaining with God “only a line drive and I’ll be nice to everyone, just a line drive”.  The first pitch, strike.  The second pitch, ball.  Can’t this be over all ready.  The next pitch is PERFECT and she nails it and hits a triple.  THEY. WIN. THE. GAME.

It’s only after she gets a bunch of high fives, the team is going crazy and the coach calls them over to talk about the NEXT GAME. RIGHT. This means they are playing on Saturday. F@ck! But, but, now what? We have a party on Saturday. Really? Can’t we get this over with and play the game tomorrow? Do we have to drag it out? Unfortunately, nope, that isn’t how things work out for us.

So Plan B is Frasier does the “drop off Birthday Party” (yes, I did say drop off) for a bunch of 5 year old SPED’s and I will go to the game. THE SPED’s party is at  Rainforest Cafe.  How will he do?


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