What is the Mommy March? The Mommy March is the mass exodeus at 5:00:01 that happens in an office environment.  Especially in my office. All of the mom’s are heading for their cars to relieve the nanny or do the day care shuffle. We get the stares as we walk out from the men or single women in the office because every precious minute counts at the end of the day.  Their lives aren’t thrown for a loop if tubbie time starts 20 minutes later than usual.  They have also spent time on ESPN fantasy football, or buying shoes online, planning a wedding during their work hours.  They way I see it, I still work more than them even if I HAVE to leave at 5:00. 

Me: I am in my late 30’s and am a working mother of 3 girls plus a step-daughter. I married the love-of-my-life after my practice first husband didn’t work out so well.  I am a Sales Manager babysitting managing 5 employees. My job is very stressful and requires travel.  I often do the mommy march at the end of the day to go home and start my other full time job help raise my family.

Frasier:  is the love-of-my-life and I married him 6 years ago.  We have one daughter, THE SPED. He is the co-founder of a start up company and shares in all household duties.   He is the real husband as things didn’t work out so well with my the practice husband ex-husband .

THE SPED: Is 5 years old and has cerebral palsy. (she is “ours”) She walks with a walker and never shuts up has a great imagination. She will be in kindergarten in September.  She is obsessed with Diego and Spongebob.  Her favorite things to go to bed is a ratty old baby jaguar Arnold and equally ratty blue blanket that is now gray Bluey.  She HATES change and has this thing where she pukes more than the average kid.

Ketchup: Is 11 years old and thinks that ketchup is a food group. She has ADHD and wishes she was a boy is a tom boy. She is obsessed with Celtics and  is probably the most random kid I’ve ever met.  (kid #2 with my ex)

TextFace: is 13 years old going on 30.  She has more friends than anyone. She is the happiest of the bunch and can be found either on Facebook or texting with her cool phone. (kid #1 with my ex)

Drama Queen: Is 15 years old and is my step daughter. She visits us when nothing else is going on occasionally as she doesn’t like the chaos of having step sisters has no idea what to do with rules.  She has a great singing voice and has a lot of drama studies a lot in school.

SLUT:  Stupid Loser Ugly Tramp is the ex-wife.  She really thinks the world revolves around her and even though she has been divorced from Frasier for 7 years everything is still his fault. Thinks of child-support as “spousal support” and does everything she can NOT to work full time.

Jackass: is the practice husband ex-husband and thinks being a good dad is buying his daughters cool phones and showing up for a parent-teacher conference one time 5 years ago as being involved. He is in his mid 40’s, getting back on his feet AGAIN lives at his sister’s house and doesn’t pay rent.  He goes to some of the sporting events and gets to be the good time parent.


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